Walking with my Sha-Dow

So I was walkin... Walkinn to Subway.
Uuh--To get a Sandwhich.
--On the bridge. 9:17. P. M.
And...- shit. Whose next to me?
It's like my, my, it's my shadow.
And we had this conversation. And this, this is how it went:
Me: Yo Sha--Dow. What's up over there?
Shadow: ...
Me: Silence... that's cooool. So I wonder what I'm going to eat... yeah.
Shadow: ...
Me: I'm thinking of the Subway Melt. Tasty sandwhich, nice and meaty, you know?
Shadow: ...
Me: Yeah... but yeah... that's so much meat. Veggies are good sometimes.
Shadow: ...
Me: Especially tasty tomatoes and spinach. And it makes one feel all good inside.
Shadow: ...
Me: I'm thinking veggie, if nothing else than for the satisfaction of knowing that I'm being healthy... But the Subway Melt is superior.... And why deny my impulse to eat good sandwhiches just so I can be healthy? There's no need to deny impulses. It's uncooool. You know?
Shadow: ...
Me: Well, I'm totally at a loss man... what, what are you getting?
Shadow: ...
Me: Silence again... that's chill. Man. I hate socks. They have to be changed regularly, changed or they smell, so I decided to boycott that shit.
Shadow: ...
Me: But... that turns out to be an even worse idea.
Shadow: ...
Me: Hope my smelly conversational topics don't offend--oh wait, you don't care.
Shadow: ...
Me: Why don't you ever answer dude... totally uncool.
Shadow: ...
Me: Seriously ill dude.
Shadow: ...
Shadow: ...
Me: What?
Shadow: ...
Me: Say that one more time man... I swear.
Shadow: ...
Me: Jesus. You just gotta go there... push those buttons...
Shadow: ...
Shadow: ...
Shadow: ...
Me: No!!!
Shadow: ........................................
And that's exactly when Shadow, he grabbed me by the sweater. Pulled so hard, damn near ripped the whole sweater off my back. I wish he had... then maybe I could've gotten away. He dragged me, me yelling and screaming, to his apartment. Down into his dark, dark basement. The whole time he sung "Shadow: ... Shadow: ..." And he hung me up by my feet. Played this evil, evil music. With his evil, evil smile. And he would drip icy water on my face. Ask me questions I couldn't answer. And when I didn't answer, he would drive bamboo shavings under my finger nails. With a hammer. That he used to gouge my eyes out.
And that's why Shadows don't make good friends.

Troubles from the sea...

Dawn of September gathered the town.
Everyone flocked around, around.
Scattered the sun broke through,
grass still hung heavied by the dew.
Podium raised a man in the town,
High above crowds to which he looked down.
"My people, we live in troubled times,
yet nowhere exists such hint of crime.
It is of the great sea robot denizen,
of such things that amass us great fear in,
to which I speak.
For we are pallid and weak,
in comparison to the tentacly great appendages,
with which mechanized destruction he engages.
Devestation the warf and ships have to suffer.
And never yet have times been rougher,
for yesterday was the day,
revealed in carefully calculated beeps from the bay,
the mighty bot creatured's spoken horror wrought,
declaring himself as the mighty Jellybot."

Story... not so much, but read on

So, where did my cigarettes go? Front pocket? Nope. Back pocket? Oh great they're squished. Into tiny little square sticks of flammable cancer-inducing joy. Lighter. Ahh, sweet satisfaction. So, so, so this letter came in the mail this morning. Changed everything. It said... some things. Jesus. Now I don't know what I'm going to do. Essentially I'm screwed. I think that's all there is to it. Space robots. Mutant underground mole-cats. And keylime flavored ice cream. All trapped in my bathroom. And they wrote me a letter. To tell me so. Because I trapped them there. And the letter, the letter went something like this: "Yo bitch. Let us out of your bathroom. And click this. Now!. Signed: Space Robot #1, Space Robot #2, Space Robot #3, MC(Mole-Cat... geez) Cazizlle and the Toaster... er Ice Cream. Keylime ice cream no less."

Ohh See Dee

Late. Shit. What time is it?
-10:28.
Hurry. Hurry. Where are my shoes?
-By the door.
Got my pack?
-Yes.
Computer?
-Yup.
Car keys are in the pocket. House key... pocket too.
-Is that your house key?
Pull it out. Yes.
-10:29.
Shit. Why is time passing so fast? Slow down.
-Is the stove off?
Of course. I would notice it if it were still on. I wouldn't do that. It's fine.
-Is it? Is it fine?
Yeah, I need to go.
-Wouldn't that suck if you burned down your house because you didn't take the few seconds you need to check the stove?
-I'm sure it's off. That's it. I'm walking. Door closed. Going to the car. Where is the car?
-Up the street. How sure are you that the stove is off?
100%. Where's my car keys? Pocket? Damn, I don't feel... wait, found them. In car.
-Backpack?
Got it.
-Stove? Are you sure?
Well, shit. Alright. Let's run. Sprint.
-Leave the door open. You'll be right back.
See, I told you the damn stove was off.
-Are you sure that the dial is all the way on off. Maybe it's turned slightly on. Better touch it to check it.
Look. I'm grabbing the dial, turning it on, now click. It's off.
-But you just turned it on. Now it's really your fault if it's on.
Alright, I'll do the same. Click on. Click off. It's off.
-It's off.
It's off.
-It's off.
I'm not halucinating. It's off.
-Off.
Alright, sprint back to the car. Car keys. Got them go! Ignition. Alright.
-Is the door closed?
What, of course.
-You sprinted through the door... did you close it? All the way? Sometimes it sticks.
Shit. You're right. I'll drive by real slow like. I'll see it if it's open.
-Sometimes it's just barely open.
No one will notice if it's cracked.
-But if someone does.
I'm driving by. End of story.
-Alright, let's see it.
Driving, driving, shit it looks open. The door. Dammit, I closed it, I know I did.
-But there's a glare... can you see through the glare on the glass to the door... did you really close it?
Okay, stopping the car. Middle of the street, turn on the blinkers. Running up the staris.
-Between you and me the door is probably closed.
I know. See? It is.
-Better safe than sorry... now let's go.
10:38. Damn.